Example of lack of Imagery
Nov 28, 2023 21:58:51 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Nov 28, 2023 21:58:51 GMT -5
Example of almost total lack of Imagery
[What exact colors and different needle-arrangements are we supposed to be seeing? He sees them perhaps? Or maybe not. Who knows?]
His Mom’s delight at seeing the tree shown through her eyes, leaving her to lean up against her Husband and plant a wet kiss on his cheek.
“Bob, that is a gorgeous tree!”
Bob beamed back at her.
“Thanks, Gus!”
(It was only years later that the young man learned that “Gus” was a nickname usually reserved for men, but was also used for women named Agnes)
Below is a link to a story that has a large group of people speaking and interacting, and all that we know about their physical appearance is absolutely nothing at all. Why, because they are constantly referred to by their first names and first names describe nothing.
So as a reader who depends on the writer to involve him in the world he creates and the characters involved, what exactly are we supposed to be seeing when the writer constantly refers to a "He" a "She" a they or a them?"
So as a reader who depends on the writer to involve him in the world he creates and the characters involved, what exactly are we supposed to be seeing when the writer constantly refers to a "He" a "She" a they or a them?"
He couldn’t help himself. He had to go stand in the middle of all those Christmas trees outside the local Grocery store. There must have been a hundred trees. All freshly cut, with that wonderful pine scent that lures folks in to buy the trees in the first place.
He wandered down aisle after aisle of Blue Spruce, several varieties of Fir trees, and (of course) the old reliable Pine trees too. Each with a distinctive smell, arraignment of needles, and shades of color that distinguish them from each other.
[What exact colors and different needle-arrangements are we supposed to be seeing? He sees them perhaps? Or maybe not. Who knows?]
Finally he found a tree that just drew him in. He leaned in close, reached through the needles and let his hand wrap around the slightly sticky sap coated trunk.
Suddenly, he was back in time. He could feel the excitement of his fifteen year old self. Him and his Dad had just returned from getting the Family Christmas tree. One that would barely fit in their living room.
His Mom’s delight at seeing the tree shown through her eyes, leaving her to lean up against her Husband and plant a wet kiss on his cheek.
“Bob, that is a gorgeous tree!”
Bob beamed back at her.
“Thanks, Gus!”
(It was only years later that the young man learned that “Gus” was a nickname usually reserved for men, but was also used for women named Agnes)
They put the tree in the stand. As was part of the tradition, the young man could feel himself adding a tablespoon of Maple syrup to the water at the base of the tree. His Father said it would keep the tree healthy and the needles wouldn’t fall off.
The term "young man" describes nothing. Is he white? Is he black? Is he tall? Is he short? Is he slim? pudgy? Because of this lack of imagery, a reader sees nothing but just hears the term young man. Neither do we see the house nor the living room. In fact, we don't even know what country if at all this is taking place. Is it on Earth? Or is it on some colony?
In short, there is no imagery describing physical appearances nor anything else and the reader is left in a perceptual limbo. Not even auditory imagery via describing the quality of the person's voice. Only the generic mentioning the gender, or family status such a mother, father or brother.
In short, there is no imagery describing physical appearances nor anything else and the reader is left in a perceptual limbo. Not even auditory imagery via describing the quality of the person's voice. Only the generic mentioning the gender, or family status such a mother, father or brother.
Now this lack of imagery goes on for the entire length of the story, check it out for yourself. Yet, as usual, the dude gets five stars, and if you mention it to him, or else give him a rating that the story deserves, then suddenly the website owner gives you a warning and will get banned if you dare to persist with what she calls banditry.