It Ambulates
Feb 22, 2023 13:30:13 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Feb 22, 2023 13:30:13 GMT -5
It Ambulates
"Beware because it ambulates!" was the warning I got from another customer who quickly left the premises before we could ask him to explain his cryptic expression. He ws referring the the pet we had recently purchased at the Chicago downtown Extra Terrestrial Pet shop.
Of course there had been many animals available there for sale, all from many distant points of our galaxy. But the one that most caught my attention was a small one about the size of a human fist who just seemed to sit staring with two adorably large dark brown eyes from beneath its thick wavy gray fur.
"Yes may I help you?" The extra terrestrial pet shop owner asked after having rung up a customer at the checkout counter.
"Well yes! What's this creature in cage seven?" I said pointing at the cage on the second shelf.
"This one? Ah you mean The Aldebaranian Squish Ball?"
"Is that what you call it?" I responded rather taken aback by the exotic nomenclature being used.
"Yes! Yes! That is what we call it. You see, creatures from all different planets just love to sit it on their laps and squish it with their hands. It calms their nerves and even lulls some of then to sleep! Great for chronic insomniacs, you know?"
"Well, how much are you selling one for and what do I need to feed it"
"Well they go for seventy seven Rubias each and you feed it whatever you want since it eats anything.
"So this species has no specific nutritional requirements?"
At this point the pet store owner became nervous and whispered:
"To be absolutely honest, we really don't know. This creature was just brought in recently via contraband. That's why I can sell it at such a low price."
At this point I hesitated since if it had not passed inspections, then it might be harboring some disease."
"No it doesn't harbor diseases sir," the telepathically-gifted triple-eyed humanoid extra terrestrial store-owner said, "It is perfectly sterile. You see all animal sold here, be it via contraband or not, must be meticulously examined by our company's veterinarian in order to assure that it is perfectly safe."
"Sounds good!" I had said and just as I paid the customer leaving the store said
"Beware because it ambulates!"
Of course I just couldn't simply ignore such a statement and calmly go home with the thing without some kind of an explanation.
In fact, I immediately asked for a refund and was told that no refunds were given. So I was either forced to give the pet back, or else take it home and risk whatever danger was associated with that warning. I could report the seller the authorities by that would incriminate me as well as being a purchaser. Leaving it at the store was just as bad since he would make a double profit be reselling it. All these thoughts flitted rapidly through my mind before I decided t bolt out of the front door to see if I could find the customer who had issued the warning.
Well, I was lucky since he was conversing with someone just across the street. But when he saw me he bolted and I had to give chase with the Squish- ball pet tucked snugly in its purchase box.
Of course there had been many animals available there for sale, all from many distant points of our galaxy. But the one that most caught my attention was a small one about the size of a human fist who just seemed to sit staring with two adorably large dark brown eyes from beneath its thick wavy gray fur.
"Yes may I help you?" The extra terrestrial pet shop owner asked after having rung up a customer at the checkout counter.
"Well yes! What's this creature in cage seven?" I said pointing at the cage on the second shelf.
"This one? Ah you mean The Aldebaranian Squish Ball?"
"Is that what you call it?" I responded rather taken aback by the exotic nomenclature being used.
"Yes! Yes! That is what we call it. You see, creatures from all different planets just love to sit it on their laps and squish it with their hands. It calms their nerves and even lulls some of then to sleep! Great for chronic insomniacs, you know?"
"Well, how much are you selling one for and what do I need to feed it"
"Well they go for seventy seven Rubias each and you feed it whatever you want since it eats anything.
"So this species has no specific nutritional requirements?"
At this point the pet store owner became nervous and whispered:
"To be absolutely honest, we really don't know. This creature was just brought in recently via contraband. That's why I can sell it at such a low price."
At this point I hesitated since if it had not passed inspections, then it might be harboring some disease."
"No it doesn't harbor diseases sir," the telepathically-gifted triple-eyed humanoid extra terrestrial store-owner said, "It is perfectly sterile. You see all animal sold here, be it via contraband or not, must be meticulously examined by our company's veterinarian in order to assure that it is perfectly safe."
"Sounds good!" I had said and just as I paid the customer leaving the store said
"Beware because it ambulates!"
Of course I just couldn't simply ignore such a statement and calmly go home with the thing without some kind of an explanation.
In fact, I immediately asked for a refund and was told that no refunds were given. So I was either forced to give the pet back, or else take it home and risk whatever danger was associated with that warning. I could report the seller the authorities by that would incriminate me as well as being a purchaser. Leaving it at the store was just as bad since he would make a double profit be reselling it. All these thoughts flitted rapidly through my mind before I decided t bolt out of the front door to see if I could find the customer who had issued the warning.
Well, I was lucky since he was conversing with someone just across the street. But when he saw me he bolted and I had to give chase with the Squish- ball pet tucked snugly in its purchase box.