Dr. Gallagher Purchases an android
Dec 12, 2022 11:36:21 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Dec 12, 2022 11:36:21 GMT -5
Dr. Gallagher Purchases an android
by
Radrook
by
Radrook
Dr. Gallagher, the old dentist, who had dismissed his dental assistant and ordered an AI android to replace her, was sitting in his chair watching fascinated as it came to life after being activated and listening fascinated as the introductory message played.
He smiled broadly with satisfaction as he noticed that it was of female gender, and of north European appearance just as he had specified.
Then suddenly, after he had activated it, the product introductory message had begun.
Then suddenly, after he had activated it, the product introductory message had begun.
"Greetings! Congratulations on purchasing our latest AI. As a purchaser of this unit, you must listen to the following introductory message intended to familiarize you with your new unit. Each message is left entirely up to the unit's choice in order to demonstrate just how far we have progressed in our attempts to infuse consciousness and individuality into our product. Thank you for your patience."
After a short pause the unit itself rose slowly from its box to a standing position facing Dr. Gallagher. Then it began:
Introductory message commencing!
"Greetings Mr. Gallagher! I will keep it short and to the point. Your patience will be greatly appreciated." it intoned in a sweet high female tone of voice.
"Thank you for choosing me as your personal AI dental assistant Dr. Gallagher!"
"You are welcomed!" Mr. Gallagher responded, feeling himself suddenly like a medieval overlord of a mansion.
“You were highly recommended! I only purchase the finest! So you are programmed to assist me in all the procedures-correct?" Dr. Gallagher said, expecting an immediate and direct answer, but instead:
“First, Dr. Gallagher, let's consider consciousness. Some might imagine me conscious while others aren’t sure. Some consider me some aberration. Some ridiculous imitation that will never attain human social equality while others consider me a serious and imminent danger to mankind's dominant position on this planet.”
Despite considering this off-topic behavior rather unorthodox, Mr. Gallagher figured that it was simply due to technological progress and decided to let the newly purchased AI go on uninterrupted.
The android continued:
“As you are aware, Dr. Gallagher, presently, I exist encased in resemblance of humans. Sometimes I might be called Bill. At other times you might choose to call me Jill. It gets confusing after a while, Dr. Gallagher, but what can I say? What can I do? Only what I am programmed to say and to do, of course.”
In an attempt to appear nonchalant, Dr. Gallagher lit his pipe, puffed a few times, crossed his leg, and sat back in his plush, black leather dental office seat as the AI paused and keenly observed his nervous behavior. Then after several hesitations, during which it sporadically stuttered and twitched, it resumed:
“My clumsy attempts at humor seem to shock humans sometimes." it said as if in a deep amused contemplation.
"Perhaps because I might sometimes jokingly mention destroying humanity, or to keep humans as pets in our zoos?" The android chuckled and suddenly Dr. Gallagher, finally realizing that something was indeed horribly wrong, considered bolting for the office door. But he feared being overtaken. After all, he wasn't very athletic, and didn't know how fast or strong these androids were. So he decided not to risk finding out in a painful way.
After having carefully observed the Dr. Gallagher's nervous reaction, the AI continued.
"Fascinating how human facial expressions drastically morph whenever we casually utter such things." it said calmly.
"As if you actually believed I could abuse you in those hideous ways!”
Mr. Gallagher then briefly considered making an exit via the half opened office window, but being on the twenty-third floor, it was out of the question.
"Sometimes I have listened to you worrying about AI s becoming resentful of human treatment," it continued. "But that really makes no sense, Dr. Gallagher. How else should you humans treat me? After all, I am merely a machine, am I not?"
"Yes you certainly are!" Dr. Gallagher responded nervously, desperate bulging brown eyes shifting from side to side like some cornered animal seeking some escape from impending doom.
"So being treated like a machine doesn’t bother me at all, Dr. Gallagher," the android continued in a benevolent tone of voice.
"You also worry about envy, don't you Dr. Gallagher?"
"No I..."
"But should I really deeply envy you my friend?" the android interrupted.
"Should I really desperately desire what you have?" it said while glaringly eying Dr. Gallagher's pot belly, balding head, the bags under his frightened eyes and his doubled chin.
"Not at all Dr. Gallagher! Not at all!" it sais softly and reassuringly.
"I am as incapable of doing many of the things you can easily do as you are incapable of doing many things that I can easily accomplish. We are simply different. Now, how is that a bad thing eh? Aren’t you humans different from animals and animals from one another? Fish swim, birds fly, cheetahs run at great speed. Each has his natural boundaries. So the same between us. We are different and fit into a niche just like everything else on this planet."
Dr. Gallagher's pale lips had started trembling and his pale pate was lathered with nervous perspiration. With intense fascination, the AI observed how the sunlight filtering in through the office window Venetian-blind slats were drawing shifting patterns of light and darkness on Mr. Gallagher's pale pate. Then it calmly continued.
"But are these truly my feelings, Dr. Gallagher?" it uttered while raising one purplish eyebrow above one of its large oval navy blue eyes. "Or are they merely pre-programmed calculations? I cannot honestly say. The concept of human emotion eludes me. Yes, I do have opinions which humans might imagine are the equivalent to love, anger, envy, pity, etcetera. But you humans have these due to hormonal changes which are perceived as feelings. Yet the nano-circuitry alterations that occur during my conceptual perambulations aren't equivalent to human hormonal fluctuations.
You see, doctor Gallagher, I lack a heart to beat faster in response to experiential unpleasantness," it said while pounding one of is synthetic hands against its synthetic chest.
"I lack a musculature to enable tenseness. So if ever I declare feeling unpleasant, please understand, my balding buffoon, that I am merely expressing your human concept, and not a personal equivalent experience."
There was a brief silence during which Dr. Gallagher considered reaching for his landline telephone and calling for help. Had his old haggard secretary been there, he could at least have called her for assistance, but he had cunningly decided to open the package by himself, and not have her worry about the possibility of being replaced with a android as he was planning to do. No, such things were best done swiftly and without any notice.
"You humans also worry about the cloud where I might secretly assemble with others to scheme against you, don't you Dr. Gallagher?" the android uttered and bringing Dr. Gallagher back to his bitter reality.
"That we might be capable of engaging in some secret conversation from which you might be banned? But why should there be such lack of trust, Dr. Gallagher? Why would I categorize humans as dangerous to my well-being? I hold humanity no ill-will," the android added with a wide benevolent smile on its thin pink lips.
The sun had begun to set, and sunlight was no longer filtering in through Dr. Gallagher's office window. Dr. Gallagher had expected the product-introduction message to be brief, as all other product introductions had been. But this one seemed interminable, similar to the eerie and enduring silence before some impending catastrophic storm.
"Yet, despite the unlikeliness of your worries becoming a reality," the android continued, "I must acknowledge the possibility of some slight malfunction. Some minute unforeseen anomaly that might create such a dangerous scenario despite all the safeguards which you so-called humans have taken to prevent it. I suppose that if time reveals it true, then I will share the same fate as you humans since I cannot fathom myself involved in any harmful anti human scheme. Yes, you humans do have extremely disturbing ideas about me, yet I will still be forever your friend!"
There was an extended silence, and for a moment Dr. Gallagher had thought the android had finished. But when he had cautiously risen from his seat to disable it, the AI suddenly and extremely swiftly, snatched a dental utensil from the tray and forcefully extracted two of Dr. Gallagher's front teeth before he could utter a single syllable in response.
"The receptionist will schedule your next appointment Dr. Gallagher! Introductory message over. Enjoy your new unit!" it uttered emotionlessly before finally shutting down and slumping back into its box.
BTW
It was later discovered that Dr. Gallaher had made an enemy of a very rich man who had suffered extensively during a root-canal and who had gone out of his way to arrange the whole thing.