The Buck Toothed Alien
Dec 4, 2022 4:30:34 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Dec 4, 2022 4:30:34 GMT -5
The Buck-Toothed Alien
By Radrook
By Radrook
The buck-toothed alien, who had recently arrived on Mars, sat comfortably on
his hairy, wide, purple, furry haunches waiting to be served at the midget
Martian-owned restaurant. It had been an hour since he had ordered the specialty
of the house :Live Sagittarian maggots swabbed with putrid musk milked from
the festering glands of Alphanian Warakla beasts, and his patience was beginning
to fray at the edges.
He didn’t want to lose his temper or give the impression that he was about to, of
course. Bitter experience had taught him that life became complicated when
interplanetary law was breached by committing murder or maiming. So he
learned to control himself after serving several terms on Kuiper Belt Asteroidal
Prisons. Yet, despite his best efforts, his massive body was starting to quake
violently from the stress of self-control.
He was also copiously drooling thick, malodorous, green saliva all over the table due to ravenous hunger. What made controlling himself even more difficult was that the place was deserted except for himself. It was obvious that service should have been swift. Yet, all he could hear from the kitchen were chirp-like whispers now and then. Then, as if that wasn’t annoying enough, once in while a midget Martian would stare at him from between the swiveling kitchen doors and then hide when he
He was also copiously drooling thick, malodorous, green saliva all over the table due to ravenous hunger. What made controlling himself even more difficult was that the place was deserted except for himself. It was obvious that service should have been swift. Yet, all he could hear from the kitchen were chirp-like whispers now and then. Then, as if that wasn’t annoying enough, once in while a midget Martian would stare at him from between the swiveling kitchen doors and then hide when he
saw that he’d been seen. But as far as any effort to fill his order, there was none. Finally, after fifteen more minutes of subdued grumbling and threatening imprecations, the bucked-toothed alien could take it no more!
“Where is the accursed food I ordered!” he bellowed through his pointed
yellowed teeth after slamming one massive clawed paw on the small, flimsy
table.
“What was it that you ordered again?” the midget Martian who had timidly
emerged and cautiously approached his table with what appeared to be a menu in
one hand said nervously.
“Are you radiation retarded?” the bucked-toothed alien bellowed in response.
“I said clearly, as soon as I took a seat, that I wanted the specialty of the house,
Live Sagittarian maggots swabbed with putrid musk milked from the festering
glands of Alphanian Warakla beasts as advertised here!” the buck-toothed
alien pointed at the velvet, red-lettered brochure handed to him by a Martian
midget immediately upon his arrival at the Martian spaceport.
The midget Martian chef looked it over carefully, while slowly shaking his tiny, bald, pink head as if in utter disbelief. After waiting for a response, but getting none, the buck-toothed alien felt like taking a horizontal swipe at the midget’s pot-bellied midsection, and eviscerating him as he had done dozens of other creatures who had offended him. But he forced himself to refrain this time for the sake of getting served his favorite meal. Why, it had seemed like eons since he had indulged himself in that particular pungent luxury and his craving for Sagittarian maggots swabbed with putrid musk milked from the festering glands of Alphanian Warakla beasts had become exceptionally strong.
“Well? Are you going to serve me the delicacy or not?” he rumbled in the
calmest voice he could muster but it still came out as something akin to a
threatening growl of an extinct Earthian animal they had once called a lion.
“Sir, there seems to have been a serious misunderstanding.” the Martian midget
said peevishly with an innocent look in his moist, big, dark round eyes. He
seemed about to bolt for the nearest exit and if he did, the buck-toothed alien
knew he would never get served. So once more, he made a Herculean effort to
control himself.
“A misunderstanding?” he grunted as his bulging, slanted red eyes swiveled
malevolently and involuntarily from side to side, and his flat bridgeless nose
flared.
“Yes, you see sir, this restaurant doubles as a morgue, so we have two similar
pamphlets printed and published. The advertisement you consider as for dinner
is the morgue version telling you that corpses which exhibit those horrible
characteristics will be immediately roasted er, cremated to prevent outbreak of
plague.” the Martian midget explained this in a voice that resembled a child
about to be punished who is whining for mercy.
“If this is so then why did you not reveal this to me immediately?”
“Well sir, no one wanted to volunteer since your species has a violent reputation."
“So you prefer to keep me waiting for a full one of your hours to tell me this?”
“Well sir, we thought you would quickly get the hint and leave! We did not think
you would be that er, dense.”
With a deafening roar, the Buck-toothed alien rose to his twelve-foot height
and unsheathed his saber-like claws to strike. He moved very quickly for a
creature of his enormous size due to the Martian low gravity, and was soon
within striking distance of the Martian midget who seemed frozen to the spot by
fear. But before he could deliver the fatal blow, he had been sonic blasted by the
Martian midget who had quietly snuck up behind him.
The hand-held weapon, although small, was powerful, and its projected vibration
immediately blew the buck-toothed alien's massive head clean off his wide
shoulders. There was a very brief moment during which his muscular, hairy body
seemed to defy gravity and just hovered with clawed paws upraised to strike.
Then his massive bulk slowly crumpled to the black marbled polished floor in a
heap taking the table and chair with it and landing with a resounding thud that
shook the building.
As if on cue, the hulking mass was suddenly surrounded by the other Martian
midgets who had been watching silently in the shadows. All had their eyes
intently on the hulking mass of meat. "It worked! It worked!” they all chanted in
unison.
“They say that these are best eaten with plenty of piquant Alpha Centurian
sauce,” one joyously proclaimed. The others just drooled and snickered with
glee.