Earthian Dentist meets Extra Terrestrial Patient
Nov 29, 2022 8:54:11 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Nov 29, 2022 8:54:11 GMT -5
Earthian Dentist meets Extra Terrestrial Patient
by
Radrook
The ten-foot-tall, blue-skinned humanoid alien, had arrived only recently at the planetary domain humans called Earth. It had only been intended as a brief business trip. But being unfamiliar with Earthian food, he assumed that all Earthian food-shells were easily chewable, and had cracked a front tooth while biting into a coconut husk. The pain had become unbearable so he decided that he needed to see an Earthian dentist.
The cab driver, who had been driving him to the spaceport when the accident occurred, suggested a dentist that was family, and who better yet, was nearby. Not being familiar with the city, or with the human species, the Alien agreed.
“Just go in and tell him that Albero sent you!” the cab driver yelled before speeding away.
True, the building looked dilapidated, and the narrow stairwell was rather dark and musty, but the throbbing pain had become worse, so he decided not to be choosy.
The Earthian dentist turned out to be a short, elderly, bald male of predominantly southern European descent, who spoke with what was still referred to as a New-York accent. He greeted the alien with a tense, broad smile, a firm effusive handshake, and an unwavering prolonged stare at the alien’s triangular crystal-like teeth. The intense way he stared temporarily made the alien feel ill-at-ease, but three more jabbing pains from the cracked tooth, forced him cast any worries aside.
After taking x-rays of the alien's entire mouth, which was generously studded with sixty-four teeth, the old man calmly announced his diagnosis.
“I am afraid that I will need to extract all your teeth,” he said calmly, while still staring thoughtfully at the illuminated x-ray image on his desktop computer-screen.
“All of my teeth?” the alien responded in a fearful, tremulous, high-pitched voice.
“Yes all of them! The entire sixty-four!” the old man said while glancing at him sideways his languid, pale-blue eyes..
“But, but only one is broken and hurting me, so why must it be all?”
“Are you actually questioning my medical competency? Is that what you are doing, alien?”
“No, of course not doctor. It is just that it seems...”
“Good!” the dentist said, before the alien could finish.
“Then let me be the judge of whether or not your teeth need to be pulled, and how many need pulling. OK?” Then the dentist vigorously shook his bald head, and muttered something else softly and impatiently under his breath.
After watching nervously as the dentist silently scrutinized the x-rays further, and rapidly scribbled notes on a piece of paper, the alien noticed that there was no evidence of qualifications to deal with aliens of his species anywhere on the office walls as mandated by Galactic Medical Association policy.
“Sir, is it please possible to administer some local pain killer and let me return to my planet so a physician familiar with my species can assess the problem?” the alien said.
The old man sighed and hunched tiredly, as if a great psychological burden had suddenly been positioned on his narrow shoulders. Then he suddenly swiveled around, and for a brief instant, his facial expression resembled that of a predatory Earth bird called an eagle. The alien instantly recognized the look since he had seen this predatory Earthian creature in Space Traveler Orientation documentaries back on his home-world, documentaries designed to familiarize travelers with alien creatures of worlds that travelers, such as he, intended to visit or to relocate permanently to.
He’d observed fascinated, as the creature, wings extended, had swepped down rapidly from a clear or clouded Earthian sky towards its living, quavering target far below. He remembered how that predatory look had grown even more fearsome, as the creature called an eagle, had repeatedly sunk its long, curved talons into the prey’s body, and had then proceeded to savagely shred it apart with its sharp, curved, yellow beak.
“Certainly, we can do that for you.” the dentist suddenly uttered calmly after his facial expression returned to normal. “But I wouldn’t recommend it,” he added quickly. “
"I found all your teeth be are seriously abscessed, and if they aren’t extracted immediately, I’m afraid that it might result in your entire jaw having to be removed by an oral surgeon down the hall, in order to avoid serious complications!”
For a moment, the Alien was almost impelled to bolt out the door under the impulse of his exceedingly forceful survival instincts. But the instinct inhibitors he’d taken in order to blend in harmoniously with Earthian society, were still working, and he was able to restrain himself. Yet his entire body was shaking with the effort, since he just couldn’t understand how such a simple tooth-pain, which had only been an annoyance, could suddenly turn into a life or death issue or one possibly requiring the removal of his entire jaw.
Noticing his hesitation, the dentist snatched some yellowed forms from the dusty desk drawer, and handed them to him, and said:
“But of course, if you insist on leaving my office without allowing me to execute the urgent procedure, then please just sign these so that you exonerate me and my staff of all blame for whatever happens to you between now and your long journey home. Just a formality in order to avoid any serious legal repercussions of course. I have a professional reputation to protect-you see. ”
The alien carefully read the aged yellowed document with its long list of horrible consequences hand-written instead of typed out. It was hard to believe. There was septic shock, sudden blindness, sudden constriction of cerebral arteries, slow strangulation of intestinal segments and a host of other symptoms that seemed completely unrelated to his tooth. For a moment, he was overcome by vertigo and slumped back against examination chair with a loud thud of his wide massive back against the thinly padded seat. Before he could respond, he was immediately provided with a small plastic cup of cold water.
“Please rinse!” The old man said softly with a triumphant look on his face while diligently preparing the hypodermic needle and to assemble the other material necessary for tooth extractions as if the alien had agreed to the procedure simply because he had taken a seat and experience vertigo.
At that moment, his dental assistant, a grey-haired, cadaverously-skinny Earthian female, who also doubled as his wife, slowly entered the room locomoting as if she had been on wheels, and stood gazing mesmerized at the alien’s teeth.
Nothing unusual since his frontal crystal-like, emerald-tinted teeth protruded visibly in a typical overbite of his species, so they were always visible. Of course being a visitor to multiple worlds, he was accustomed to other creatures staring at his teeth in a curious manner. However, this female's stare seemed different. It was the stare that one gives a precious object one has lost and has suddenly found. The alien had never observed such a joyful countenance on any other elderly nor young Earthian woman before as a consequence of seeing his teeth.
“Magnificent! Absolutely magnificent!” she exclaimed softly at the office entrance while pressing the palm of her pale, skinny, wrinkled hand firmly against her chest. Her rapid shallow breathing seemed to indicate anticipation of some important event. It seemed similar to the intense stare that the alien had witnessed during certain Earthian cultural orientation documentaries. The intense stare which Earthian felines such as lions and tigers were known for when stalking Earthian prey, and just before they struck.
Noticing the alien’s growing concern, the dentist nervously interceded.
“This is Gertrude, my wife.” he solemnly declared while giving her a glaring reprimanding look,
“She’ll be assisting me with the extraction procedure!” he said smiling wryly.
“Extraction procedure?”“ The alien quickly raised himself to an erect sitting position.
“Excuse me doctor, but I have not given you permission to--”
At that old man’s hand that was hovering just above the alien’s face gripping the tooth-extraction pliers began to quiver. Then he grimaced angrily, turned away, suddenly leapt up in the air, and slammed the instrument against the top of his desk.
In the relative quiet of the small room, the sudden impact of metal on wood reverberated like a shotgun-blast. In fact, it managed to shatter both of the alien’s delicate eardrums making him grimace in pain. Then as a reaction to a perceived danger, its nervous system went into the full-instinctual survival mode. Before he knew it, he found himself leaping from his seat, descending the two-storied, dim, narrow musty stairwell and striding rapidly down the Earthian semi-dark avenue at a dead-run.
Each time he imagined the old Earthian dentist and his decrepit wife chasing him with the extraction device, he would yelp similar to a wounded Earthian canine, and put more effort into his run--leading with his chin, with his barrel-like chest thrust outward in the typical alien style, causing Earthian bystanders to mutter: “Crazy aliens!" to themselves and to shake their heeds negatively concerning Earth’s lenient extra terrestrial Alien immigration policies.
Meanwhile, back at the office, the dentist’s wife was loudly berating him for having ruined a chance to harvest the alien’s teeth that were now suddenly selling for a fortune on the black market.