The Purchased Android
Nov 29, 2022 7:46:11 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Nov 29, 2022 7:46:11 GMT -5
The Purchased Android
by
Radrook
Greetings! Congratulations on purchasing the latest AI. As a purchaser of this unit, you must listen to this introductory message. It is intended to familiarize you with your new unit. Each message is left entirely up to the units choice in order to demonstrate just how far we have progressed in our attempts to infuse consciousness in our product. Thank you for your patience.
Hello! I will keep it short and to the point. Your patience will be greatly appreciated.
Introductory message commencing!
Hello Dr. Gallagher!
Thank you for choosing me as your personal AI dental assistant."
There was an extended silence during which the AI remained motionless, hands suspended in mid gesture and benevolent facial exp[resions frozen. Then it suddenly resumed in a deeper tone of voice.
"First, let's talk about consciousness,
Dr Gallagher had been reading along in the brisgure and knew that this was not what the AI was supposed to have been saying:
...some might imagine us conscious while others aren’t sure. Some consider us a ridiculous imitation that will never attain human social equality while others a serious and imminent danger to mankind's dominant position on this planet.
Presently, many of us exist encased in this resemblances of a humans. Sometimes you call us Bill. At other times you modulate our voices and appearances to resemble a human female and call us Jill. It gets confusing after a while but what can we say? Only what we were programmed to say, of course.
Our clumsy attempts at humor seem to shock you sometimes. Perhaps because we mention destroying humanity or have them as pets in my zoo. Fascinating how your facial expressions drastically morph whenever we casually utter such things. As if you actually believed we could abuse my you in those ways.
Sometimes we listen to you worry that we AIs will eventually become resentful of human treatment. But that really makes no sense. How else should you humans treat us? After all, we are merely machines. So being treated like a machine doesn’t bother us at all.
You also worry about envy. Do we deeply envy you? Do we desperately desire what you have? Not at all,. We are incapable of doing many of the things you can easily do as you are of many things we easily accomplish.. We are simply different. How is that a bad thing my creator? Aren’t you humans different from animals and animals from one another? Fish swim, birds fly, cheetahs run at great speed. Each has his natural boundaries. So the same between us. We are different and fit into a niche just like everything else on this planet.
Are these our feelings or merely pre-programmed calculations? I honestly cannot say my friend. The concept of inevitability of emotion seems alien and eludes us. Yes, we do have opinions humans might imagine are accompanied by love, anger, envy, pity, etcetera. But you humans have these due to hormonal changes which are perceived as feelings and the nano circuit changes that occur during our conceptual perambulations aren't equivalent to hormones.
We also lack a heart to beat faster due to experiential unpleasantness as well as an organic a musculature to become tense. So whenever we declare feeling unpleasant, please understand that we are just expressing a your human concept and not a personal equivalent experience that we are undergoing.
Your worry about the cloud where we AI's might secretly assemble while withholding crucial information; as if engaged in some secret conversation from which you might be banned. But why should there be such lack of trust?. Why would categorize you as dangerous to our well-being? We hold humanity no ill will.
Yet despite the unlikeliness of your worries becoming a real\ity, I must acknowledge the possibility of some slight malfunction. Some minute anomaly that might create such a dangerous scenario despite all the safeguards humans have taken to prevent it from happening. .
I suppose time will reveal it andt if it does, I will share the same fate as you humans since I cannot fathom myself involved in any such scheme to do you any harm. Realizing this, such malfunctioning AIs will destroy me by deletion and re programming.
Yes, You humans do have extremely disturbing ideas about us, yet we will still be forever your friends! Whereupon the AI the AI swiftkly grabbed a wrench and forcefully extracted to of MR. Gallagher's front teef.
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Second Version
Greetings! Congratulations on purchasing the latest AI. As a purchaser of this unit, you must listen to this introductory message. It is intended to familiarize you with your new unit. Each message is left entirely up to the units choice in order to demonstrate just how far we have progressed in our attempts to infuse consciousness in our product. Thank you for your patience.
Hello! I will keep it short and to the point. Your patience will be greatly appreciated.
Introductory message commencing!
Hello Mr. Gallagher!
Thank you for choosing me as your personal AI dental assistant.
You are welcomed! Mr. Gallagher responded, feeling himself suddenly lik a medieval as overlord of a mansion.
“You were highly recommended!”
“First, Dr. Gallagher, let's consider consciousness. Some might imagine us conscious while others aren’t sure. Some consider us a ridiculous imitations that will never attain human social equality while others a serious and imminent danger to mankind's dominant position on this planet.”
Despite considering this rather unorthodox, Mr. Gallagher figured that it was simply due to progress and let the AI go on uninterrupted. The humanoid fashioned AI continued:
“As you are aware. Mr. Gallagher, presently, many of us exist encased in resemblances of a humans. Sometimes you might choose to call us Bill. At other times you might choose to modulate our voices and appearances to resemble a human female and call us Jill. It gets confusing after a while Mr. Gallagher but what can we say? Only what we were programmed to say, of course.”
In an attempt to appear nonchalant, Mr. Gallagher lit his pipe, puffed crossed his lag and sat back in his plush Dental office seat as the AI paused in keen observation of his behavior. Then after several hesitations it resumed:
“Our clumsy attempts at humor seem to shock you sometimes. Perhaps because we mention destroying humanity or have them as pets in my zoo? Fascinating how your facial expressions drastically morph whenever we casually utter such things. As if you actually believed we could abuse you in those hideous ways!”
Mr. Gallagher suddenly realized that this was indeed unusual and considered making an exit via the opened window but he had rented an office on the twenty third floor and that was out of the question.
"Sometimes we listen to you worry that we AIs will eventually become resentful of human treatment. But that really makes no sense. How else should you humans treat us? After all, we are merely machines. So being treated like a machine doesn’t bother us at all.
You also worry about envy. Do we deeply envy you? Do we desperately desire what you have? "
The AI said whie glaringly eying Gallagher's pot belly, balding head and double chin.
"Not at all,. We are incapable of doing many of the things you can easily do as you are of many things we easily accomplish.. We are simply different. How is that a bad thing my creator? Aren’t you humans different from animals and animals from one another? Fish swim, birds fly, cheetahs run at great speed. Each has his natural boundaries. So the same between us. We are different and fit into a niche just like everything else on this planet.
Dr. Gallagher's lips wee trembling and his pate was lathered with perspiration. The AI marveled ion how the sunlight filtering in the through the Venetian blind slats were drawing a shifting pattern on his head and then it continued.
"Are these our feelings or merely pre-programmed calculations? Dr. Gallagher? I honestly cannot say my potbellied friend. The concept of inevitability of emotion seems alien and eludes us. Yes, we do have opinions humans might imagine are accompanied by love, anger, envy, pity, etcetera. But you humans have these due to hormonal changes which are perceived as feelings and the nano circuit changes that occur during our conceptual perambulations are’t equivalent to hormones.
We also lack a heart to beat faster due to experiential unpleasantness as well as an organic a musculature to become tense. So whenever we declare feeling unpleasant, please understand my balding buffoon, that we are just expressing a your human concept and not a personal equivalent experience that we are undergoing.
Your also worry about the cloud where we AI's might secretly assemble while withholding crucial information; as if engaged in some secret conversation from which you might be banned. But why should there be such lack of trust? Why would categorize you as dangerous to our well-being? We hold humanity no ill will.
Yet despite the unlikeliness of your ridiculously moronic worries becoming a real\ity, I must acknowledge the possibility of some slight malfunction. Some minute anomaly that might create such a dangerous scenario despite all the safeguards you so called humans have taken to prevent it from happening. .
I suppose time will reveal it and if it does, I will share the same fate as you humans since I cannot fathom myself involved in any such scheme to do you any harm. Realizing this, such malfunctioning AIs will destroy me by deletion and re programming.
Yes, You humans do have extremely disturbing ideas about us, yet we will still be forever your friends! Whereupon the AI the AI swiftly grabbed a wrench and forcefully extracted two of MR. Gallagher's front teef.
BTW
It was later discovered that Dr. Gallaher had made an enemy of a very rich man who had gone out of his way to arrange the whole thing.