The Patient Andromedan Ambassador
Nov 27, 2022 19:00:57 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Nov 27, 2022 19:00:57 GMT -5
The Patient Andromedan Ambassador
by
Radrook
by
Radrook
The alien was seated morosely in his ship’s cockpit while transmitting the following message to the Planet Earth from a deep cavern on the dark side of the moon where he was taking protective shelter from earthian hostilities.
“Once more, and for the thousandth time, my name is Quaralos, ambassadorial representative from the Andromeda Galactic Planetary Federation. I have been attempting to land my starship on your third planet from that yellow dwarf star now for the past century as humans refer to the interval of time elapsed. But I have been prevented. Each time I am invariably intercepted by a barrage of your missiles and forced to take evasive action in order to assure my survival. Just yesterday, one of your missiles stubbornly pursued my ship around one full orbit of your moon before it finally relented and crashed against the lunar surface.
I am tired of this constant nd inexcusable hostility. Yet, I still have hopes that we can come to some understanding. This has gone on for far, far too long! Please! My fellow sentient brothers! How many more centuries must elapse and how much more damage must my ship sustain and be repaired before you finally realize that we mean your terrestrial species absolutely no harm?
Why this intense and persistent and murderous agression? Is it my non-humanoid physical appearance that has alarmed you and provoked you into feeling this irrational and unwavering animosity? Is it my thirteen writhing and snakelike tentacles that splay out gorgeously from my circular torso and the incessant poetical quivering of the yellow-spotted gelatinous texture of my epidermis that inexplicably nauseates you? Is it my magnificent large black beak while you have what you refer to as lips, the reason for your hostility? Are my oval, lidless, crimson, dish-sized eyes somehow contributing to your persistent madness?
How does all this physical superficiality constitute a valid reason for your unwavering and almost maniacal obsession in sending me into permanent oblivion? How does it justify denying me the hospitality despite knowing that I had been in chemically-induced hibernation for centuries in order to reach this destination and offer you our eternal and totally unqualified friendship?
How do you morally justify seriously considering the possibility of placing me in some cage to be observed in one of your zoos alongside those creatures that you refer to as lower animals? Eh?
Or is it that I constitute some type of unacceptable reality involving some blasphemous affront to your self-aggrandizing religious notion that your kind, and your Earthian kind alone are the epitome of sentient creation and that anything that deviates or provides evidence to the contrary must be viewed as an abomination fit only for destruction at your own immaculate hands?
If indeed all this be so-and I truly hope that it is not-then please note that the report to my superiors concerning your belligerent reaction to my peaceful overtures, will ultimately prove to be extremely disastrous to your species. You see my sentient Earthien brothers, because of your persistent stubbornness, the next ships you will detect entering your solar system will not be ambassadorial ones, such as mine, but they will be intergalactic battle-cruisers armed with deadly anti-matter disintegrators all focused on your meager orbital defenses and others directly at your planet’s surface. I really cannot imagine what an anti-matter disintegrator can do, can you?
Then, my dear Human brethren, then, it will be far too late and no amount of begging or diplomacy will manage to dissuade our warlike factions from subjugating you by force and transforming your planet into a location that will be only fit to provide slave labor for mining our thousands of colonies. Is that what you really desire? Is that what you are seeking in your own deviant suicidal manner for all these years? Hmmmm?"
The message had been repeatedly transmitted in all of Earth’s languages by the ambassador’s ship computer for a full week. After this message was received, there was a total silence from Earth. Then suddenly, orbiting missiles stopped targeting the alien ship. The incessant demands that the alien immediately leave the Solar System or else be destroyed, suddenly ceased as well.
The constant warnings related to entering Earth’s atmosphere were suddenly gone. After a hundred years of incessant hostility, Earth’s governments had finally responded to the alien presence by sending a peaceful political delegation to the alien ship in order to establish peaceful and formal political relations. Relations were formally established by an official delegation sent to the Alien creature’s hiding place on the dark side of the Moon/ There a formal invitation to address the United Nation to explain the reason for its visit was offered. After the alien had effusively thanked them for the honor, as he called it, it transmitted the following subspace message to its home world in Andromeda.
“Andromedan Ambassador Quaralus reporting. My fellow Andromedans of our glorious Andromedan High Council, our plan has worked. The threat that we issued has finally penetrated the seemingly impenetrable psychological barrier that had prevented the establishment of normal diplomatic relations the Earthians for the previous century. As usual, the aliens have chosen believed the entire thing and in an effort to avoid retribution and to promote self-preservation, have finally ceased all previous hostilities. Now the rest will prove very easy.
Tomorrow, on a day they refer to as Saturday, on the part of Earth where I will land, I will guide my ship to a chosen location in what they refer to as Central Park, a vegetation-profuse area located in a primitive City that they proudly refer to as New York. They have lavishly prepared for my arrival by by limiting civilian access and creating a military safety zone or cordoned off area for my ship and thus ensuring my safety. Welcoming signs are suddenly appearing all over the Earth and absolutely no vestige of the previous seemingly-inevitable hostility is being manifested. Mission accomplished! There trust has been gained! They have finally lowered their guard and are ready to be easily conquered and enslaved.
“Once more, and for the thousandth time, my name is Quaralos, ambassadorial representative from the Andromeda Galactic Planetary Federation. I have been attempting to land my starship on your third planet from that yellow dwarf star now for the past century as humans refer to the interval of time elapsed. But I have been prevented. Each time I am invariably intercepted by a barrage of your missiles and forced to take evasive action in order to assure my survival. Just yesterday, one of your missiles stubbornly pursued my ship around one full orbit of your moon before it finally relented and crashed against the lunar surface.
I am tired of this constant nd inexcusable hostility. Yet, I still have hopes that we can come to some understanding. This has gone on for far, far too long! Please! My fellow sentient brothers! How many more centuries must elapse and how much more damage must my ship sustain and be repaired before you finally realize that we mean your terrestrial species absolutely no harm?
Why this intense and persistent and murderous agression? Is it my non-humanoid physical appearance that has alarmed you and provoked you into feeling this irrational and unwavering animosity? Is it my thirteen writhing and snakelike tentacles that splay out gorgeously from my circular torso and the incessant poetical quivering of the yellow-spotted gelatinous texture of my epidermis that inexplicably nauseates you? Is it my magnificent large black beak while you have what you refer to as lips, the reason for your hostility? Are my oval, lidless, crimson, dish-sized eyes somehow contributing to your persistent madness?
How does all this physical superficiality constitute a valid reason for your unwavering and almost maniacal obsession in sending me into permanent oblivion? How does it justify denying me the hospitality despite knowing that I had been in chemically-induced hibernation for centuries in order to reach this destination and offer you our eternal and totally unqualified friendship?
How do you morally justify seriously considering the possibility of placing me in some cage to be observed in one of your zoos alongside those creatures that you refer to as lower animals? Eh?
Or is it that I constitute some type of unacceptable reality involving some blasphemous affront to your self-aggrandizing religious notion that your kind, and your Earthian kind alone are the epitome of sentient creation and that anything that deviates or provides evidence to the contrary must be viewed as an abomination fit only for destruction at your own immaculate hands?
If indeed all this be so-and I truly hope that it is not-then please note that the report to my superiors concerning your belligerent reaction to my peaceful overtures, will ultimately prove to be extremely disastrous to your species. You see my sentient Earthien brothers, because of your persistent stubbornness, the next ships you will detect entering your solar system will not be ambassadorial ones, such as mine, but they will be intergalactic battle-cruisers armed with deadly anti-matter disintegrators all focused on your meager orbital defenses and others directly at your planet’s surface. I really cannot imagine what an anti-matter disintegrator can do, can you?
Then, my dear Human brethren, then, it will be far too late and no amount of begging or diplomacy will manage to dissuade our warlike factions from subjugating you by force and transforming your planet into a location that will be only fit to provide slave labor for mining our thousands of colonies. Is that what you really desire? Is that what you are seeking in your own deviant suicidal manner for all these years? Hmmmm?"
The message had been repeatedly transmitted in all of Earth’s languages by the ambassador’s ship computer for a full week. After this message was received, there was a total silence from Earth. Then suddenly, orbiting missiles stopped targeting the alien ship. The incessant demands that the alien immediately leave the Solar System or else be destroyed, suddenly ceased as well.
The constant warnings related to entering Earth’s atmosphere were suddenly gone. After a hundred years of incessant hostility, Earth’s governments had finally responded to the alien presence by sending a peaceful political delegation to the alien ship in order to establish peaceful and formal political relations. Relations were formally established by an official delegation sent to the Alien creature’s hiding place on the dark side of the Moon/ There a formal invitation to address the United Nation to explain the reason for its visit was offered. After the alien had effusively thanked them for the honor, as he called it, it transmitted the following subspace message to its home world in Andromeda.
“Andromedan Ambassador Quaralus reporting. My fellow Andromedans of our glorious Andromedan High Council, our plan has worked. The threat that we issued has finally penetrated the seemingly impenetrable psychological barrier that had prevented the establishment of normal diplomatic relations the Earthians for the previous century. As usual, the aliens have chosen believed the entire thing and in an effort to avoid retribution and to promote self-preservation, have finally ceased all previous hostilities. Now the rest will prove very easy.
Tomorrow, on a day they refer to as Saturday, on the part of Earth where I will land, I will guide my ship to a chosen location in what they refer to as Central Park, a vegetation-profuse area located in a primitive City that they proudly refer to as New York. They have lavishly prepared for my arrival by by limiting civilian access and creating a military safety zone or cordoned off area for my ship and thus ensuring my safety. Welcoming signs are suddenly appearing all over the Earth and absolutely no vestige of the previous seemingly-inevitable hostility is being manifested. Mission accomplished! There trust has been gained! They have finally lowered their guard and are ready to be easily conquered and enslaved.