Chased by a Chihuahua

     It was summer, and we had gone camping at the New York Catskill Mountains again. We had run out of supplies and had gone to the local town to restock. By we, I mean me, my parents, and my cousin George, who looked like the comedian Jerry Louis, but far skinnier.

     Well, my father parked the car next to this little grocery store and my parents had gone ahead and entered first. My cousin and I followed a little distance behind and noticed there were girls who were about to pass us by. I was eleven at the time, was bodybuilding, believed all the hyped nonsense and was sure that I would be the future Steve Reeves or Lou Ferrigno.

    So I made sure to tense my abdominal, (I had a six-pack at the time of which I was very proud). I also tensed my pectorals or chess muscles. Then I gradually spread out my Latisimus Dorsi, or back muscles, in order to make a great impression. I was wearing a T-shirt specially designed to accentuate musculature, so I was confident that I had impressed as I strutted proudly towards the store.

     All was OK, until we neared its entrance. That's when I noticed that there was this little beige Chihuahua, lying down on its stomach by the store's narrow door. I also noticed that the dog had not reacted to my parents nor my cousin as they passed him by. But to my surprise, as soon as he saw me, he started growling as if intending to bite. Why? Beats me. Maybe because of the cautious way I was looking and approaching him due to knowing how long its teeth really were regardless of its size.

     You see, that was something I had discovered by examining my dog's teeth several years before at age nine. He was not far from being a puppy, yet those teeth were impressive. I had realized that had my little dog wanted to, it could have inflicted serious damage with those choppers. So the Chihuahua's size to me was irrelevant. Only its teeth mattered.

     After I had cautiously and nervously made my way inside, I began worrying about having to pass the Chihuahua again when I left. I wondered if there was another way I could leave the store but was ashamed to ask the owners. So I figured I would man-up and ignore the dog. I hesitated by the door, even though I had just seen my cousin leave without any difficulty. The dog had remained totally indifferent. It was as if my cousin didn't exist. In fact, it seemed even drowsy and on the verge of falling asleep as it lay on its belly on the steps platform.

     So I figured that it was OK for me to calmly waltz by the dog and get into the car as well. I was dead wrong! It was not OK! As soon as he saw me leaving the store and passing him he growled, got up, pointed his snout at my ankles and was baring his teeth.

     The rest was pure instinct. For me the only thing that existed was the dog, his sharp menacing teeth, and my vulnerable ankles. Instinctively, as if in some hellish dream, I jumped over the platform banister separating the store from the street, landed on both feet and headed up the sidewalk at a dead run.

     I was a fast runner, one of the fastest in the neighborhood among kids my age, but the dog was faster. I could hear his short legs churning on the sidewalk cement behind me and quickly closing the distance. So it would be just a matter of time before he would catch me. So when I thought he was near enough to sink his teeth into my ankle, I slid to a stop, pivoted swiftly and headed back up the street towards the store again and the car at a dead run. Unfortunately, the Chihuahua immediately did the same in order to resume his chase. It suddenly dawned on me that it was as important for him to catch and bite me as it was for me to get away.

     True, the car was parked by the store and within easy reach, but pausing to open the car door would provide the dog with the chance it needed to accomplish his mission-to bite me. So coming parallel to the car and the store, I would do a repeat. Slide to a stop and furiously head back up the street. The Chihuahua, of course, would do the same. Back and forth we went as if tethered together for what for me seemed an eternity.

     Fortunately, on the third sequence of this tableau, I heard my cousin call out from the car, open the back door, and wave me in. No further encouragement was needed. Needless to say, I slid to a stop, swiveled left, and jumped in head- first imagining that the Chihuahua would follow and savagely maul me in there.

     But to my surprise, he didn't. In fact, it was nowhere in sight. For a moment I lay in that back seat staring at that open door and expecting to see it flying in with bared teeth. Then I realized that it wasn't going to happen. So I cautiously reached out and slammed the car door shut with a trembling hand.

     Then I sat there in stunned silence drenched in sweat for a while. That's when suddenly cousin George began his usual routine. He began in a serious tone at first by casually informing me that he had been observing my upper body going back and forth for his vantage point in the car and had been wondering why I was frantically running back and forth that way until he took a look and caught sight of the Chihuahua hot on my heels. He apologized for not having opened the door sooner. Then he burst out laughing. I saw nothing funny about it. The girls across the street were giggling, and I felt like digging a hole, and jumping in.