The Tao of Eternally Young Old Geezers

    Everyone likes to be young, that is natural. However, there is a point in life when getting old is very often perceived as a very serious threat, and staying young at all costs becomes a fanatical thing. Generally speaking, this desperate feeling, that youth is seriously being threatened, grows stronger as humans approach 40. Then a constant concern starts to predominate as the reality of drastic physical changes begins to loom menacingly ahead. That’s when a constant denial via self-delusion often begins in earnest.

     Now, please note, that if this phenomenon affected only the person who is worrying about getting old, then it wouldn’t be that serious. After all, to each own personal opinions. But unfortunately, those individuals who are personally affected are in the very nasty habit of seriously involving others in their desperate and constant attempts at denial of an unpleasant unavoidable reality.

     Here are some behaviors that indicate the denial of such a bitter reality:


     Sure, the eye-bags under the bloodshot watery eyes bulge, but the forehead is still smooth. Sure, the chin is wrinkled and doubled, but the cheeks look fine. Sure, the hair is graying here and there, but it doesn’t look completely white-does it? Sure, the belly is potted, but it can still be tucked in and the coat hides it. As the saying goes, “Out of sight out of mind.”

     This leads the old geezer to the firm conclusion that he doesn’t really look his age but much younger.

     The geezer starts refusing to identify with those old geezers appearing on TV who claim to be their same age. So they dismiss them as suffering from some degenerative aging disease. They begin to wonder why the hell is everyone else aging and becoming geezers while they so mysteriously seem to be remaining forever young. Must be genetics! That’s it! Genetics! Why, not everyone is blessed that way! No sireee Bob!

   This engenders unrealistic expectations. Such geezers can’t seem to understand why younger people of the opposite sex don’t react in the interested way they once did. Why don’t they ever even gaze at them like before? They are also invariably shocked whenever younger people expect appropriate age behavior from them, because in their self-deluded mind’s, they are still in their late thirties or early forties. Some extremely delusional geezers might even be identifying with teenagers and can’t understand why their fellow teens are treating them as old geezers.

2. Geezers referring to older geezers as pops, papa, mama, grandpa, grandma in public places in order to boost their own younger-geezer ego.

    Yep! They see an older geezer who might be actually depressed due to aging, and peacefully minding his own business, and suddenly, straight out of the proverbial blue, dump that garbage on him. Of course, they see absolutely no reason why the older geezer should object being called pops, papa, or gramps, by younger persons such as they. It’s only later, when they eventually reach that same stage of life and encounter that same cruel garbage from delusionally-afflicted old geezers, that they suddenly realize their pestiferous mistake.

Geezers Offering Help to Other Geezers?

     No, I am not referring to volunteer work, where help is offered to all. That is entirely different.
I am referring to holding doors and other such attempts for other old geezers as if they were far younger and consider the other geezer totally physically finished. That old-geezer behavior is particularly annoying. Why is this decrepit old man, or woman holding the door or offering to pick up or carry things for me and gloatingly staring at me as if I am a cripple? After all, as far as I can tell we are in the same boat and often the person looks as if he's on his last legs. Give him a slight push, and he would go swiftly toppling over! Yet there he is on extremely unsteady feet, feeling younger and trying to make another old geezer feel helpless and old. Sheeesh! Give me a break!


    Confidently and calmly claiming to be fifty even though they are very obviously well into their sixties and definitely look it. Some even look as if they are far past the seventy and into their early or late eighties. This anomaly is based on the delusion that they actually think that they actually look fifty. I once worked with this old geezer who looked a very worn-out 85 and was confidently going around constantly proclaiming that he was only fifty-two.

     I was thirty-eight at the time, and I just couldn’t imagine myself looking that way in a mere 14 years. Neither did I see other senior citizens of that same age looking that horrible way. So I was forced to conclude that he was lying. At that time I considered his attitude some type of personal quirk. Later I began to realize that 52 is a very popular age which younger geezers tend to hold onto for dear life as long as possible.


     Now of all the characteristics typical of old geezers, this is one of the most annoying. The old geezer wants to throw hands! With whom? Yep, you guessed it-with other old geezers whom, he imagines that are his senior. The old geezer will be searching for such opportunities with a keen, old, experienced eagle-eye. He or she will enthusiastically jump into arguments which are none of his or her damn business and furiously hurl insults in hopes of demonstrating that he is not an old geezer and if need be, by inflicting bodily harm on the other supposedly older geezers.

     Once these particular geezers have interfered and provoked an altercation by making threats, obscene gestures and hurling insults, then they proudly walk away feeling rejuvenated for having proven that they are still young. During the antics, they will call the older geezer old man or old woman even though they are old themselves. A real display of desperation instigated by the fact the they will soon be in a casket eight feet under just a few years down the line..

     Well, I am sure there are many more old-geezer bad habits, but these are the ones I keep encountering and the ones which most annoy me.

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