From the Bench to the Beach by silverquill12
Apr 2, 2020 18:26:44 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Apr 2, 2020 18:26:44 GMT -5
From the Bench to the Beach
by silverquill12
by silverquill12
Link
www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/silverquill12/From-the-Bench-to-the-Beach-146963?c=686182#c686182My Review...
Thanks for sharing this very unusual composition. I like the simplistic approach. Reminds me of the way in which Hemingway sometimes had his characters reveal so much about themselves while saying so little. I also was very pleased with the manner in which such a simple scenario as a bench with strangers arriving and meeting stranger number one, can contain so much inherent drama that is masked by the seemingly simple and seemingly harmless dialogue.
The only thing that threw me off is that I found the pronoun usage of "them", and their confusing. You see, you seem to be using the singular noun "stranger" to refer to the plural pronoun "them" and seem to be using the plural possessive "pronoun "their to refer to the singular noun "stranger".
Of course, upon closer examination, one can unravel this apparent confusion. But unraveling it took me approx five minutes, when I should have been reading smoothly to the end. When I finally did, I realized that the story is indeed dramatic and I like the way that the action tells us all we needed to know about the motives of stranger 1, to send any other stranger who might join him at that bench to his death.
BTW
It seems as if stranger two returned to the bench unharmed since both are joined by stranger number three. That is a bit confusing. Also, why does stranger two feel he has the right to take THEIR belongings on his short walk towards the beach? One would expect stranger one to object to that gesture. Hard to come up with a logical satisfactory explanation. Care to explain?
I know it's a script but scripts must also be logical.