Limbo by Lia5Giba
Apr 2, 2020 5:51:35 GMT -5
Post by Radrook Admin on Apr 2, 2020 5:51:35 GMT -5
Limbo
by Lia5Giba
March 20, 2020 Poetry: Realistic, General 4 comments (3 reviews)
www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/Lia5Giba/Limbo-146787
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I sit on this couch
Let the wind from the fan whistle through my ears,
In one, out the other...
I'm sorry, were you saying something?
I was lost in clouds,
Riding on silver wings through a midnight sky
Adorned with thousands of suns;
I sit on this couch
And mellow, melt into cushions,
Feel my consciousness slip down, down...
Why can't I stay this way?
I don't know how other people feel,
But to me, limbo is the best feeling in the world.
You know, the place between night and day?
The place between sleep and awake?
I'm not sure if I should close my eyes
Or keep on pretending your conversation interests me.
Or keep on pretending I am one-sided,
Completely devoted to dark or light,
That that is where I want to be.
Leave a comment or review! Remember, the minimum review length is about 4 complete sentences.
Is this a review?
Review
I like this poem. Both humorous and significant. Takes me back to when I was a kid in the fifth grade and used to daydream looking out the school-room window over the rubble from demolished building towards paradise-like Branchbrook Park.
Had the teacher who always pointed it out and called me dizzy D. Kids started calling me that as well. I like the stream of thought style that open a window into the speaker's inner sanctum.
Makes me imagine someone spouting philosophy or some other matter of deep concern for him while the one on the couch responds with "U huh! Yeah! Good! Good! Yep! Really? " and he is so engrossed with his fanatical blabber, that he doesn't even notice the disinterest!
Expressions that I particularly like were:
Let the wind from the fan whistle through my ears,
In one, out the other...
Absolutely hilarious! LOL!
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Riding on silver wings through a midnight sky
Adorned with thousands of suns;
Very elegant imagery!
Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
by Lia5Giba
March 20, 2020 Poetry: Realistic, General 4 comments (3 reviews)
www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/Lia5Giba/Limbo-146787
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sit on this couch
Let the wind from the fan whistle through my ears,
In one, out the other...
I'm sorry, were you saying something?
I was lost in clouds,
Riding on silver wings through a midnight sky
Adorned with thousands of suns;
I sit on this couch
And mellow, melt into cushions,
Feel my consciousness slip down, down...
Why can't I stay this way?
I don't know how other people feel,
But to me, limbo is the best feeling in the world.
You know, the place between night and day?
The place between sleep and awake?
I'm not sure if I should close my eyes
Or keep on pretending your conversation interests me.
Or keep on pretending I am one-sided,
Completely devoted to dark or light,
That that is where I want to be.
Leave a comment or review! Remember, the minimum review length is about 4 complete sentences.
Is this a review?
Review
I like this poem. Both humorous and significant. Takes me back to when I was a kid in the fifth grade and used to daydream looking out the school-room window over the rubble from demolished building towards paradise-like Branchbrook Park.
Had the teacher who always pointed it out and called me dizzy D. Kids started calling me that as well. I like the stream of thought style that open a window into the speaker's inner sanctum.
Makes me imagine someone spouting philosophy or some other matter of deep concern for him while the one on the couch responds with "U huh! Yeah! Good! Good! Yep! Really? " and he is so engrossed with his fanatical blabber, that he doesn't even notice the disinterest!
Expressions that I particularly like were:
Let the wind from the fan whistle through my ears,
In one, out the other...
Absolutely hilarious! LOL!
------------------------------------
Riding on silver wings through a midnight sky
Adorned with thousands of suns;
Very elegant imagery!
Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more of your work!