Post by Radrook Admin on Feb 23, 2023 5:35:03 GMT -5
Strange isn’t it?
Please note that when a written story or else an author is praised, and even wins an award, it assumed that the story excels and that the author is setting a good example and should be imitated. Well, apparently such is not necessarily the case. The snippets below were taken from a story of an author who is praised for excellent penmanship.
Well, excuse me but I disagree. This author is very obviously deficient in common grammatical knowledge, and even in basic English writing-skills, such as avoiding the use of sentence-fragments. Below are enumerated some of the many flaws I found. The vast majority of the ones in which the author doesn't use the required commas, have been omitted for brevity's sake. They numbered approx. 40. Bracketed commas indicate where they should have been placed.
Well, excuse me but I disagree. This author is very obviously deficient in common grammatical knowledge, and even in basic English writing-skills, such as avoiding the use of sentence-fragments. Below are enumerated some of the many flaws I found. The vast majority of the ones in which the author doesn't use the required commas, have been omitted for brevity's sake. They numbered approx. 40. Bracketed commas indicate where they should have been placed.
1. All telling very little or no showing.
2. No specific details of locations nor surroundings. Just nouns such as office, restaurant.
3. Wife never described physically.
4. Exaggerated descriptions of body parts.
5. Flowery expressions.
6. Unnecessary redundant explanations of things already known and recently said. .
7. Repeated usage of trite expressions or cliché's.
8. Nonsensical sentences.
9. Lack of commas where commas are both needed and required.
10. No hyphenation where hyphenation is required.
11. Usage of two words where one word is meant, making the sentences nonsensical.
12. Unnecessary descriptions of the obvious.
13. Sentence fragments
14. Lack of necessary punctuation.
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Missing Commas
Two years later [,] they were married[,] two weeks after [that] a baby girl was born.
Two years later [,] they were married[,] two weeks after [that] a baby girl was born.
Days later[,] Natalie....
Tall and slender with poor posture[,]....
Fragments
Disillusioned[,] degenerate[,] now dumbfounded that the steamy nights of the party were done.
This needs to be linked to a subject in order for it to make any sense. It is obviously a continuation of something previously written, and should be linked to it via either a comma or else a semicolon.
Disillusioned[,] degenerate[,] now dumbfounded that the steamy nights of the party were done.
This needs to be linked to a subject in order for it to make any sense. It is obviously a continuation of something previously written, and should be linked to it via either a comma or else a semicolon.
Redundancies
A [withdrawn] introvert
The word introvert conveys a withdrawn personality.
The word introvert conveys a withdrawn personality.
Wrong choice of name.
[Karen]
This name has become synomymous with a very argumentative irrational female inthe USA.
This name has become synomymous with a very argumentative irrational female inthe USA.
Missing Hyphens
At rock[-]bottom
health[-]conscious,
oddly[-]shaped
divorce[-] papers
self[-]esteem.
The cheerful twenty[-]year[-]old
Clichés
...tail between his legs. [cliché]
pick up a chick = cliché
Precipitation fell from the sky as tears fell from his eyes= cliché
Such expressions give the impression that the writer is lazy an is simply repeating phrases that have been around for hundreds of years.
Such expressions give the impression that the writer is lazy an is simply repeating phrases that have been around for hundreds of years.
Flowery or Purple Prose
From his oral cavity = mouth = flowery or purple prose.
ill olfactory sensation= smell [too flowery]
of his heated breath = too flowery]
dawdling dalliances[flowery]
The reader is distracted by what sees to be an effort to impress the reader with alliteration, or by saying things in a n unnecessary, convoluted, roundabout way.
The reader is distracted by what sees to be an effort to impress the reader with alliteration, or by saying things in a n unnecessary, convoluted, roundabout way.
Bags and belongings on the curb[,] he found after a lengthy night of the party.
Coworkers, fast friends they became, led the way.
= [nonsensical]
Results? = Effusive praises and an award from the website.