Post by Radrook Admin on Feb 20, 2023 22:12:27 GMT -5
Conversing = hitting on a woman?
Conversation is a natural human social activity which most normal people enjoy. After all, a good conversation can result in new insights about important issues. Or else, bantering about trivial matters can serve to relive nervous stress and make the world seem like a far less hostile place. All good and well of course.
However, when one converses, there are certain very crucial factors that must be taken into serious consideration. One of them is gender. You see, different genders have different social expectations, and such expectations might make an attempt at friendly conversation a rather delicate affair.
For example, if a man converses with a woman too frequently, or for too long, the woman will automatically tend to assume that she is being hit on not just because he is young and drive by hormones, but because of her innate physical charm.
Well, that might be true for a certain percentage of the male population, but not all. Certain of us men are merely interested in a conversation about some subject that might be deemed interesting. Why did they choose you in particular? There can be various reasons. Perhaps the men have no one else to converse with at home. Perhaps no friends nor close family, and are feeling socially isolated. So when they go the local market, they might tend to chat with the ladies there about such things as nuclear war, religion, and health issues in order to compensate.
Strangely, such a possibility doesn't seem to occur to the human female mind. Instead, they automatically and almost instinctively assume that they are being hit on. Now, I have been pondering over this fascinating phenomenon and have finally figured out why many women NEED to assume that a man is hitting on them.
First, in order to understand this reaction, it's helpful to know that genders have ideal self-images. For example, as human males, we like to assume that the women we interact perceive us as being physically strong. Conversely the human female likes to feel that she is perceived as physically attractive and seductive. In other words, women need to feel that their beauty is not being taken for granted by the men that they socialize with in casual ways. They must feel that their attractiveness is irresistible at some level. So their assumption that men who attempt to converse with them are actually hitting on them, is merely a necessary confirmation of that comforting state of mind.
Now, if instead of being seduced or inspired to hit on the woman, a man converses casually, and is displaying absolutely no other interest than to converse, then that seriously tends to undermine that very comforting female self-image and will induce a nagging insecurity. In turn, that insecure feeling, or sense of being devalued, turns to animosity towards the person who is provoking it, in this case, the man who is only interested in conversing.
So there we go. Mystery resolved. Of course, understanding this phenomenon doesn't make the man who had only wanted to converse feel any better. It makes him feel like a clumsy aggressor who should have known better but who didn't, and hurt feelings without wanting to. But perhaps this insight will help other men to realize why they are being assumed to be hitting on a woman when they had only been seeking friendship via conversation.
Assumptions that Men are Hitting on Them
However, when one converses, there are certain very crucial factors that must be taken into serious consideration. One of them is gender. You see, different genders have different social expectations, and such expectations might make an attempt at friendly conversation a rather delicate affair.
For example, if a man converses with a woman too frequently, or for too long, the woman will automatically tend to assume that she is being hit on not just because he is young and drive by hormones, but because of her innate physical charm.
Well, that might be true for a certain percentage of the male population, but not all. Certain of us men are merely interested in a conversation about some subject that might be deemed interesting. Why did they choose you in particular? There can be various reasons. Perhaps the men have no one else to converse with at home. Perhaps no friends nor close family, and are feeling socially isolated. So when they go the local market, they might tend to chat with the ladies there about such things as nuclear war, religion, and health issues in order to compensate.
Strangely, such a possibility doesn't seem to occur to the human female mind. Instead, they automatically and almost instinctively assume that they are being hit on. Now, I have been pondering over this fascinating phenomenon and have finally figured out why many women NEED to assume that a man is hitting on them.
Explanation
First, in order to understand this reaction, it's helpful to know that genders have ideal self-images. For example, as human males, we like to assume that the women we interact perceive us as being physically strong. Conversely the human female likes to feel that she is perceived as physically attractive and seductive. In other words, women need to feel that their beauty is not being taken for granted by the men that they socialize with in casual ways. They must feel that their attractiveness is irresistible at some level. So their assumption that men who attempt to converse with them are actually hitting on them, is merely a necessary confirmation of that comforting state of mind.
Now, if instead of being seduced or inspired to hit on the woman, a man converses casually, and is displaying absolutely no other interest than to converse, then that seriously tends to undermine that very comforting female self-image and will induce a nagging insecurity. In turn, that insecure feeling, or sense of being devalued, turns to animosity towards the person who is provoking it, in this case, the man who is only interested in conversing.
So there we go. Mystery resolved. Of course, understanding this phenomenon doesn't make the man who had only wanted to converse feel any better. It makes him feel like a clumsy aggressor who should have known better but who didn't, and hurt feelings without wanting to. But perhaps this insight will help other men to realize why they are being assumed to be hitting on a woman when they had only been seeking friendship via conversation.