A Mormon Goes to Heaven

      John Pendelton had recently been resurrected and had been guided through heaven's pearly gates by two angels whom he promptly dismissed as if they had been his personal servants. After gazing at one another in utter confusion in response to Pendleton's attitude, they quietly went each his own way glancing back quizzically at Pembelton every few meters until they totally vanished into the cloudy distance.

     He, in turn, stood arrogantly as if he were a king who had just arrived in his own personal domain. Soon he began giving orders to others there as if he had been their superior and expecting them to do him obeisance and displaying outrage when they did not. He continued to make a nuisance of himself for several hours until he was finally approached by a six -winged Seraphim who asked for an explanation for his quaint behavior

     “What do you mean why am I giving orders? Don't you know who I am?" he asked the Seraphim in a Stentorian tone of voice.

     “Yes, I do! Responded the Seraphim. “You are John Pembelton who has recently been resurrected. Approximately three hours ago I would say after getting run over by a six-wheeler truck while being intoxicated. ”

     “Then why are you sinning by refusing to render me obescience?

     "Rendering you obescience?” the Seraphim who spread its glowing white wings as one would spread arms apart in extreme surprise said in almost a whisper as if such an utterance were a dreadful sin.

          "Yes, as your assigned God in my universe, you have an obligation to worship me." Pembelton responded.

         "I think that you are seriously mistaken Mr. Pembelton "the Seraphim responded patiently.

         "Really?"

         “Yes really! There is only one God here, and it certainly is not you!"

          "So you are challenging my legal right to rule my domain?"

     "There is no legal right being challenged Mr. Pembelton. Exactly where did you derive this extremely quaint notion?

     “Please allow me to speak to Joseph Smith. He will set things straight."

     “I am afraid that will not be possible John."

     “Why isn’t it possible?

     “It is not possible because there is no Joseph Smith on our resurrection ledgers, Mr. Pembelton.

     "Then I demand to speak to the Angel Moroni! He will definitely settle this serious misunderstanding."

     “Why? What does my brother angel Moroni have to do with this?" the Seraphim asked rhetorically purposefully leading Pembelton towards a painful albeit necessary confrontation with reality as he had been told to do.

     “The angel Moroni revealed Christians get their own universe and become a God once resurrected!" Pemberton said almost in the tone of a pouting child about to burst into copious tears.

     “Oh I see! I understand" Said the Seraphim

     “The angel Moroni is over there if you wish to speak with him. He gestured toward another angel who had his winged back turned to them and who seemed to be gazing in a deep pensive mood into the far heavenly distance.

     "Excuse me!"Pembelton said as he approached this angel who seemed to be turning his back on him constantly whenever he attempted to get near. For a while it went on like this but then suddenly:

     “Now what?" the angel said in a whining voice as he turned to face him. It wasn’t exactly a comforting countenance but one who seemed to have gone through this same procedure numerous times before and whose patience was being put to the test.

     “Are you the angel Moroni?” Pemberton asked sheepishly for the first time feeling threatened since he had arrived.

     "Yes, of course. So it it rumored!" Moroni responded in an annoyed tone.

     “You are the angel Moroni who spoke with Joseph Smith?" Pemberton said reverently in a quavering voice.

     "Yes, I we did once engage in a rather brief conversation in which I admonished him to be careful in not adding to his own ideas to the inspired Word of God. He had a tendency to do that-you know? 

     “Good! Excellent! It is a great privilege to meet you Moroni! A great privilege indeed!!” Pembelton extended a glowing hand for a handshake but was ignored. Ignoring the rebuff was easy for him. After all, once he was granted his own universe, such rebuffs would eventually be things of the forgotten past, so he continued.

     “Could you please tell that other angel over there, the one with the triple set of wings that I need to be taken to my universe so I can begin setting things in order there?""

     “Me? Tell that to the Seraphim? I certainly will not!"Moroni shot back in a thunderous voice that caught the attention of all angels and resurrected ones who were nearby.

      “But why not?"Pembelton asked meekly while fearing for his well-being since his arrival in heaven.

      “Simple!” Moroni responded: “Very Simple! Because I never told Joseph Smith that he would be a God that would get his own universe once resurrected. Neither did I ever tell him that others who would be resurrected would also be almighty Gods with their own universes. That is the reason why! ”

      “But Smith said....”

      “Smith! Smith! Smith! Smith! Bahhh! Smith said many things, and it is unfortunate that such things were taken to be true by so many. Some ideas he imagined during his frequent bouts of intoxication. I will certainly not be held personally responsible for his popular drivel since it constitutes blasphemy. There is only one true God and him alone we must worship!"

     “So what am I supposed to do now?' Pemberton said in a whimpering whisper head lowered and gazing at the illuminated ground.

      “See that long line over there leading to Saint Peter my son?” Moroni said in a compassionate tone of voice while draping a luminous wing over Pemberton’s drooping shoulders,

      “Please take your place there in the back of that line and wait your turn to be formally greeted by our heavenly Father.

     Whereupon Pembelton took his humble place in line and waited as he had been told.

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